What a revelation! According to Canada's Globe and Mail newspaper, Toronto's West Hill United Church, part of Canada's largest Protestant Christian denomination, will sing that traditional Easter hymn, Jesus Christ is Risen Today--Hallelujah, this morning on Christendom's holiest day, but it will be different. The words "Jesus Christ" will be excised from what the congregation sings and replaced with 'Glorious hope." That's because no divine anybody makes an appearance in West Hill's Sunday service liturgy, says the article. No petitionary prayers are found in this "church," no miracles-performing Jesus, no virgin birth or Resurrection references, no salvation themes, and no omnipotent God.
You see, their pastor, Rev. Gretta Vosper, has written a book in which she argues that the Christian church has outlived its viability. Her scorched-earth remedy is to admit that the Bible is just a flawed human project, pockmarked with errors and contradictions, and not some Divine emanation at all, and thus we need to jettison Holy Scripture with new language that is more to our liking.
How refreshing! Now I can proceed with my planned Easter ceremonies of sacrificing Shalimar the she-goat to Ishtar, the Babylonian goddess of love and war. And since prostitution was practiced in Ishtar's name, I guess a visit to the nearest pimp or bordello is in order, too, don't you think? What a memorable Easter it can be, and that's all that counts in modern religion, feeling good! Let's stay away from human sacrifices, however, at least for now. After all, we have to keep up our standards! But that "temple prostitute" thing, now that has real evangelical possibilities!
